Is it The Squirrel Hill Cafe? The Cage? The Squirrel Cage? Ask five people and you’ll get five different answers. But by any name, this place is the home of many things I love: cheap Yuengling pitchers, Dracula pinball, and quite possibly the best cheeseburger in the city.
I ventured out to The Cage for last night’s Penguins game against the Mighty Ducks (Disney TM lolol) with my friend Andy. They generally don’t get busy until after 8:00, and business can lead to them running out of important things — like hamburger buns. Luckily, we made it early enough for the full bun effect. We shared a pitcher of Yuengling and each got a burger with fries. There’s been a lot of talk of “the best burger in town” lately, with gourmet burger joints popping up everywhere you look. Wingharts is pretty good. Burgatory is better. But nothing compares to The Cage.
Just look at it. And don’t worry, they do have lettuce/tomato/pickle/etc toppings, but I hate all of those. I got my burger with American cheese. They have swiss, provolone, and pepperjack as well. And let there be no confusion – $3.75 is not a “special” or “happy hour” price. IT IS $3.75 ALL DAY. EVERYDAY. I hate to harp on the price, but I could have easily paid $10-$15 for this meal anywhere else, and I still would have been elated. I decided to shell out the extra $1.50 for fries because the burger’s default side is potato chips. The fries are pretty much identical to Primanti Bros, except better.
The bun was soft and fresh, and toasted a little on the inside to avoid that godawful soggy thing that happens with other buns sometimes. The burger itself was cooked perfectly, medium-well, and was about 1.5″ thick, which I think is perfect. It was also smothered in melted cheese. I made sure to fashion a large ketchup pond on my plate for optimal dipping of both the burger and fries.
Sip of beer. Bite of burger. Fry. Repeat.
I’ve never done Ecstasy, but I can’t imagine it’s better than this meal. 10/10 BECAUSE I SAID SO. Also “Best Burger”, in my opinion. And that’s all this blog is – PAM’S AWESOME OPINION. And you all love it.